Other People's Rules or Opinions
There has always been guys who try to dictate the way others behave in BDSM scenes. I'm always willing to listen if someone has something decent to say, I'm still learning. And with BDSM there is always something knew to learn. Just because I'm more mature, doesn't mean that I know everything or I can't learn from someone much younger. Because, truth be told, I have gleaned little gems from watching young Doms perform.
There was a time that I would describe myself as "Very Experienced Top" but as time as gone on, I've come to realise that being a Top isn't like being a bricklayer. After all, once a bricklayer has learned his Stretcher Bond, Flemish Bond, English Bond, English Garden Wall Bond, Brooke Bond, James Bond, Premium Bond, and all the other Bonds, there isn't much more to learn. With BDSM, there are new products coming along all the time, and a healthy mind will generally find a way of putting those products to use in a safe and sane way. But regardless of how experienced any Dom/Top/Master is, he is dealing with human beings, and everyone is different. So all the experience counts for very little when dealing with a new sub/slave/pup/whatever. We should all bear that in mind, whenever we start out to play.
In the past I've posted pictures of electro play, or made enquiries to see if someone had information that I needed regarding electro play. Most often, there would be one particular guy who knew nothing other than what he had read from other guys who knew nothing about what they were writing. The guy I'm referring to, liked to be seen as someone who knew a lot about BDSM. But it appeared to me that he knew absolutely nothing. In their opinion, electro play is dangerous. To be fair, that maybe true in some cases. I've met guys who have experimented with electro for many years as their only means of getting their rocks off. They detest the scaremongers who run around like headless chicken warning about the end of life as we know it because someone enjoys using a tens unit. The thing that bothers me most of all is the particular old man I'm refering to. Now frail and in his 80's uses a tens unit for pain relief. Despite all the years of him giving false warnings in public forums. He won't pulicly admit that he's now using electro. So there are still some guys who've read his misinformed warnings still believing what he's written.
There was a time when I posted a picture of my favourite bondage pup, Fruss, completely covered in Vet Wrap, several guys then went into melt down warning me of the dangers of leaving someone who is mummified alone. One guy publicly had me down as a mad man. At no point had I ever mentioned that Fruss had been left alone, so those guys judged me without any knowledge. Neither had I mentioned that Vet Wrap is a sports bandage. Perfect for gripping the body snuggly, but about as secure as a wet paper bag. When he wanted out, Fruss was out in seconds. One of those men who berated me in a public forum boasted that he was a Master with a desk. He may have had a desk but that clearly didn't help him engage his brain before making a judgement about something he clearly had no knowledge.
Shaving is another thing that some people have an opinion about. Recently someone pointed out that a sub in a picture that I had posted should have had his groin shaved. That same guy described himself as a sub, so naturally, you would assume the pictures in his own profile would show he had been shaved. Well, assume on because he was clearly in need of a good shave himself. Others have demanded that subs/slaves/pups/whatever should have their pits shaved. They're entitled to that opinion in their own playroom, but they haven't worked out that they are missing a trick. When anyone is tied with his pits exposed there is an element of evil pleasure to be gained by plucking a few of the offending hairs. So I prefer guys with unshaved pits.
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